


Oh Brother, My Brother, Where Have You Gone?

by SaltyBlueChurro



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24013507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltyBlueChurro/pseuds/SaltyBlueChurro
Summary: Obi-Wan has felt as if Anakin was the root of all of his problems. From the moment he met the boy on Queen Amidala's ship to the shores of Mustafar, Obi-Wan saw every one choose Anakin and ignore Obi-Wan until he himself chose his brother in all but blood.or5 times Anakin is chosen over Obi-Wan and one time Obi-Wan chooses Anakin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	Oh Brother, My Brother, Where Have You Gone?

**Author's Note:**

> The work was written for one of my college courses. Please Enjoy and Happy Star Wars Day! May The Force Be With You.

1.

The first time Obi-wan met Anakin was on Queen Amidala’s ship as the group was escaping Tatooine from the Sith Apprentice that followed them. Anakin’s Force presence was screaming in pain. Wave upon wave of despair, worry, fright, and loneliness flooded the Force around Anakin. Obi-Wan gave him a small smile and a handshake. _Rejection_ and something else: _hope_.

Obi-Wan didn’t know why there was a new life-form on the ship, only that Qui-Gon had brought him along. Of course, picking up pathetic life-forms was only part of Qui-Gon’s charm. It seemed almost every mission the two Jedi had ended with an additional passenger. Obi-Wan hated it because sometimes the life-forms they would pick up became their downfall later. He and Qui-Gon never truly saw eye to eye. From the time Obi-Wan was almost too old to become a padawan to even now, he had always been Qui-Gon’s third priority. The first two being the mission and anyone else. Qui-Gon didn’t always have the patience to teach Obi-Wan correctly and Obi-Wan still despised him for that. He didn’t always show it because he trusted Qui-Gon, but trust is a two-way street. 

“Are you ready to see Coruscant, Ani?” Qui-Gon smiled happily at the young boy. Obi-Wan hadn’t seen that smile since the last time he managed to follow what Qui-Gon had meant. One of his mistakes in a mission a few years before had almost cost their lives. Who knew getting the door meant to guard the door and not close it, Obi-Wan sure didn’t at the time.

“What’s it like?” The young boy folded his arms around his body. He was clearly cold and unused to space travel. The stark contrast between the boiling hot surface of Tatooine and the interior of the ship was probably shocking for the boy. 

“There are a lot of people, so stick close to me, young one. We don’t want you to get lost and find yourself in the Lower levels of the planet. Scum and villainy reside in them,” Qui-Gon carefully explained to the boy before patting his shoulder and making his way to the cockpit to see how long until the group reached the Core world leaving Obi-Wan and Anakin to an awkward air. 

“Will you tell me what it’s like there? I bet it’s so wizard!” Anakin tried to make the tenseness that suffocated the room between the two smaller. 

“No. Why don’t you go sit down? I have to confer with Master Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan said standing up from his previously crouched position. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the small flinch Anakin gave at the word master. He internally berated himself. Of course, the boy would react like that, especially since being recently freed from slavery. “Don’t worry, young one. Master in this context means teacher. Qui-Gon would never harm you.” _At least physically._ Obi-Wan added a reassuring smile before making his way to the cockpit to talk with Qui-Gon.

His smile dropped.

  
  
2.

“You wish the boy to be trained?” Mace Windu raised his eyebrow at Qui-Gon who was standing before him.

“Yes. I believe the boy is The Chosen One. He must be trained.”

“Test him, we shall. Train him, you wish?” Yoda spoke, hitting his gimmer stick on the ground to draw attention to his aging form. Getting a nod in response, Yoda narrows his eyes in thought. Obi-Wan tilts his head trying to figure out what the Jedi Council sees in the boy. “Clouded, his future is. Uncertain his loyalty is. Train the boy, you will not.”

“Master Yoda. You must understand. I will train the boy,” Qui-Gon cuts in to argue. 

“An apprentice you already have, Master Jinn. You cannot have two,” Mace gestures over to where Obi-Wan is standing. 

“I believe he is ready for the Trials.” Obi-Wan was shocked. He didn’t expect his master to put him up so soon. Even though Qui-Gon did say while they were on the Trade Federation’s ship that he felt Obi-Wan would be ready soon for the Trials, he didn’t know it was going to be within the same week. A month maybe, but a week? 

He was being replaced. That is the only explanation. Qui-Gon didn’t care about him, only the fact that he gets the chance to train one the old prophecies spoke of. Obi-Wan was just a steppingstone, someone Qui-Gon can easily get rid of. He didn't want him when Obi-Wan begged to be his padawan before getting shipped off to the Agricorps of the Jedi Service Corps where unclaimed eligible padawans went to be of use whether it be in academia, medicine, or exploration. The only reason Qui-Gon became his master was because Obi-Wan saved his life. 

“Padawan Kenobi? Do you believe you are ready for the Trials?” Master Mundi asked the youth in the room.

“If Master Jinn believes I am, then I am,” Obi-Wan complied with a small head tilt. He wasn’t going to go against Qui-Gon’s statement no matter his own feelings about it. 

“You are dismissed,” Mace said with a bow of his head. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan left through the chamber doors, making their way down the long hall into the grand foyer with its large arches allowing for natural light to stream through the giant windows. 

Obi-Wan wanted to make his way to the Room of a Thousand Fountains to meditate but Qui-Gon had other plans. The two Jedi made their way to the Senate building to pick up Anakin for testing to see if he is eligible to become a Jedi. The two stood by the door as Anakin waved goodbye to the handmaidens and the Queen with a happy smile. The happiness he radiates even though he has been through a lot is heartwarming, but the cloudy future he holds is frightening as there lies a darkness. Obi-Wan senses the darkness, but he also senses the light. A perfect balance indeed, but what happens if that balance is unstable.

3.

“Train the boy. Promise me. You’ll train the boy,” Qui-Gon whispered with his dying breath. Obi-Wan pulled him tighter as he felt the Living Force retreat from Qui-Gon’s body. He was gone. There would be no coming back from death’s grasp. 

“Master?” Obi-Wan shook the dead body, not wanting it to be true. He didn’t want to teach Anakin. He didn’t want to teach the boy that Qui-Gon chose over him. He didn’t want to teach the boy of the prophecies. He didn’t want to teach. 

“Master Jedi?” came the voice of the young queen, Padmé, who was standing tentatively by the shields, waiting for him to say something. He didn’t know how long he had been kneeling next to the corpse of his master. It could have been minutes or hours that have passed, but it made no difference to Obi-Wan. He had to train Anakin even if he didn’t want to. He wouldn’t disrespect a dead man’s wish. 

“Pardon me, Your Highness.” He couldn’t stand up as steady as he wanted to. Despite the emotional turmoil, Qui-Gon put him through, he still respects the man. He brushed off the little dirt that was on his robes before bending down to pick up Qui-Gon’s body. Careful to not overbalance himself down the long pit, Obi-Wan made his way back down the long corridor. The corridor that would forever haunt his dreams. If only he had been faster to get up. If only he ran faster. If only…

“Mister Qui-Gon! You won’t believe what I did!” Anakin came running from the hanger bay as he had undoubtedly seen the gathered crowd. He had a small skip in his step with a bright sunny smile on his face. There was a second before it all vanished and his Force presence screamed in sadness, enough to make Obi-Wan flinch. The first thing they need to work on is shielding and letting go of emotions.

“Master Qui-Gon is dead, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said gently as a stretcher was brought over for him to put the body on.

“He’s gone? Who would teach me now? He promised I would become a Jedi! I can’t go back to Watto!” Anakin started to back away like a frightened animal.

“You will still become a Jedi. I will teach you,” Obi-Wan said, hands on his hips. He will teach the boy even if it kills him. 

“You will? But aren’t you just a padawan?” Anakin wiped the single tear that fell from his eye. Obi-Wan was surprised more didn’t fall. 

“I am but soon I won’t be. And you will be _my_ padawan.”

“What are the Trails like?” Blue eyes lit up in wonder even though there was sorrow just moments before. 

Obi-Wan sighed before brushing the question aside and bringing Anakin into a one-armed hug. He didn’t want to think about the Trails. It only brought a bitter taste to his mouth as he was only doing the trails for Anakin. Why did everyone pick the boy over him? Did his feelings not matter?

  
  
4.

“I’m sorry Master, but I’m going to have to agree with Skyguy over here. We need to get Artoo back. He is a vital part of our team!” Ahsoka argued. Obi-Wan sighed, carefully thinking this through.

“Let Artoo go. They wouldn’t be getting information from him since he had had his memory wiped like the other droids.” _I hope_ , was left unsaid. If Obi-Wan knew one thing about Anakin, it was that he didn’t follow orders.

“Well, you see, Master. I didn’t wipe Artoo’s memory,” Anakin confessed, head down in shame.

“You what?” He wasn’t surprised at all. “If the droid gets into enemy hands…”

“I know. I’m sorry, Master.”

“What Master Skywalker is trying to say is that having Artoo’s memory intact has been helpful in certain situations,” Ahsoka stepped in. The two were getting close and Obi-Wan was afraid Anakin wouldn’t be able to let go. 

“I will suspect you want to conduct a rescue mission?” Obi-Wan sighed carefully. Another day another Skywalker mishap. _Another day he doesn’t need you_.

“If we can spare a ship. I can go find him and come back in no time!” Anakin slammed his hand on the table. Ahsoka nodded her head in agreement. The two of them together will give Obi-Wan far more gray hairs than he would want at his age.

“Just Anakin can go and call the reset of the 501st in as back-up as needed,” Obi-Wan decided. It would be easier if Ahsoka were to lead on her own more often if she were to get her own battalion to manage. 

“Actually, Master. I was thinking of tagging along. We know how Skyguy’s plans go. There will no doubt need to be a rescue for him too,” Ahsoka jokes, nudging him in his side. She is attached to Anakin, that much is clear to Obi-Wan. The two Jedi are attached to each other. Another person to add to the ever-growing list of people who choose Anakin. 

“Be careful. May the Force be with you,” Obi-Wan bowed his head as he ended the call. Nothing good ever comes out of people who think Anakin is unstoppable. Even worse is when they honestly believe the Anakin is the Chosen One, the one who will bring balance to the force, the one who will crumble from all the pressure that has been brought onto him. The one who will always be the priority of the Jedi Order to keep safe, even though he will always find trouble. The one who replaced Obi-Wan in Qui-Gon’s heart. The one Obi-Wan tries ever to be angry at but can’t seem to. Obi-Wan wishes it was easier to never have met Anakin because Qui-Gon would still be alive.

  
  


5.

“You must tell me where he is, Padmé. I fear he may be in grave danger,” Obi-Wan said as he paced around the living room of Padmé’s home. He couldn’t believe what he had seen on the security holo. Anakin wouldn’t. He loved children even if he acted like he hated them. Obi-Wan remembered when he would catch Anakin sneaking into the crèche to play with the infants that had been brought to the temple, too you to remember where they came from. Taken-- _stolen_ \--his mind supplies, from their families because without that early attachment of love they would not seek it later. 

“Danger? What kind of danger?” Padmé whirled around like a loth-cat, ready to pounce on its unsuspecting prey. He took a step back from the wave of concern that permeated the Force around them. Obi-Wan knew she was hiding something and closed his eyes to breathe in what the Force was trying to say. _Look closer_ , it whispered. 

“The child is his, isn’t it?” Obi-Wan opened his eyes. Padmé’s shock was covered by her senatorial mask. “I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t elaborate on the danger Anakin is in,” Padmé turned the conversation back to its original topic like a carefully woven web. He couldn’t escape her keen senses when the subject changed from one to the next. She kept on top of all topic changes to make sure everyone had a chance to comment or if one was avoiding an answer. 

“Himself. He is in danger to himself. I saw a recording of him… killing younglings,” Obi-Wan put his hand over his mouth. He couldn’t bear the thought of the caring boy from Tatooine murdering children. Where had that boy gone? _Dead with Qui-Gon_. _He didn’t want you. No one wanted you._ Obi-Wan shoved those thoughts deep down and dispelled them into the Force. There is no emotion, there is peace. _There is no emotion, there is peace_. 

“Anakin wouldn’t. He wouldn’t dare.” Padmé turned around wrapping her arms around herself, her pain echoed through the force.

“Padmé. I know he was here. Tell me where he is. I only wish to talk,” Obi-Wan tried to soothe the grown pain and anger that radiated from the senator. 

“Leave me.”

“Pardon?”

“I said leave.”

Obi-Wan bowed and made his exit. She was hiding where Anakin was, and he was going to figure it out. He figured she would leave almost immediately to confront the man wherever he may be hiding. Obi-Wan would need to slip into her ship and hide. Of course, this may not have been his best course of action, but he didn’t want another person to choose Anakin over him. It was always Anakin. First Qui-Gon, then Ahsoka, and now Padmé. He knew he had nothing to be jealous over, but he couldn’t help the longing to be wanted first and foremost. Maybe it was in his nature. 

Obi-Wan leaned back as the ship took off, taking him closer to confronting Anakin. He could do this. For the good of the remaining Jedi. 

  
  


+1.

“Anakin. Let her go!” Obi-Wan made his way down the ramp of the ship, shocked that Anakin would raise a hand to his own love. It was Obi-Wan’s fault. He had pushed Anakin away every time he had reached out when he was younger. Obi-wan thought that was what was best for the young boy learning about a new way of life. Clearly, he had been mistaken.

“You’re here to kill me!” Anakin screamed across the volcanic ground. His force presence was tangled in a battle between light and dark with the dark rolling over the light, suffocating it until there will be nothing left. 

“Anakin. You’re killing her,” Obi-Wan stood at the bottom of the ramp watching in horror as Padmé was gasping for air. He watched Anakin look over at her, eyes flashing in shock before she was let go. 

“You don’t understand. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire!” Anakin’s fists shook with undeniable rage. 

“Your new empire?” Obi-Wan walked carefully towards Padmé, bending carefully to check her pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing she was alive.

“Don’t make me kill you.” Anakin trembled, breathing heavily as his own soul was locked in a battle with itself.

“Anakin. My allegiance is to the Republic. To democracy!” Obi-Wan shouted. He was losing his brother to the dark side. It was all his fault.  
“If you’re not with me, then you are my enemy,” Anakin growled, back trembling in growing anger.  
“Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.” Obi-Wan grabbed his lightsaber, fearing the worst. He didn’t want to fight his brother in all but blood. 

“You will try.” Anakin jumped swinging his lightsaber at Obi-Wan who met him with his own. The two danced back and forth, sabers twirling in streaks of blue. They ran around the droid facility trying to catch the other off guard and best them. There was no losing now. The lives of surviving Jedi fueled Obi-Wan on. He had to win.

“Anakin, please. You are not thinking clearly. Stop this madness! The Sith have deceived you!” Obi-Wan jumped away from a vicious swing of Anakin’s lightsaber.

“Try the Jedi! They have done nothing but deceive me!” Obi-Wan’s heart breaks at the sound of distress coming from the other. 

“Qui-Gon believed you would bring balance to the force! Not leave it in darkness!” Obi-Wan snarled. Everything he had fought the council on was now null and void. Every choice he had made for him was no longer valid. Obi-Wan was staring at a scared little boy. A little boy who wanted to belong, away from his past. A little boy who _needed_ attachments. A little boy who needed guidance not reprimanding. Obi-Wan deactivated his lightsaber. He wanted his brother to come back to him. That was all that mattered now. The crimes Anakin had committed may take time to be forgiven, but just this once, Obi-Wan was choosing Anakin.

“Qui-Gon is dead!” Anakin swung at the now defenseless Obi-Wan. He leaped back as Anakin stumbled realizing that Obi-Wan didn’t protect himself. He looked up in confusion.

“Anakin. Please. Come back with me. You are my brother, Anakin. I love you.”


End file.
